Day +30, still no sign of the GvHd. Though, I was tired today and spent most of the day either sleeping or watching TV. I got a break from going into hospital. Back there again tomorrow. I am finding it hard to keep drinking 3 litres of water every day. I have tried MiWadi to add some pineapple flavour but now need to find an alternative to keep drinking all this water. My taste buds must be affected as I can’t taste the Alpen in the morning. That is a problem, as a bowl of cereal is about 300 ml of fluids. I am clutching at straws here trying to get the creatanine levels back to normal.
Simon of Cyrene was the man who helped Jesus carry the cross on his way to his crucifixion. The other person who helped was Veronica (her name was actually Sheraphia, the wife of an influential member of the Sanhedran) as she wiped the face of Jesus. What has this got to do with my journey? Whenever we face a crisis, I believe that God will assist us bear this weight by sending us ‘helpers’. This post is about the many people who came into ‘my world’ to help me carry my cross’.
Mary Stevenson is credited for this poem.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Thursday ,April 7, Mike called me to ask me, if he can ask Lesley-Ann to marry him. I had just arrived from Sri Lanka that afternoon, having watched Sri Lanka lose the World Cup finals yet again and ‘down in the dumps’ when we got this call from Mike. There was great excitement in our house as we waited to hear from Lesley-Ann a few days later, on the Saturday with this exciting news. Sunday, April 10, we were calling our families and close friends with this news. April 11, 2011, after a routine blood test in the morning, still on a high, when my GP called to say that I should immediately go into the Accident & Emergency ward at St. Vincent’s Hospital as my white blood cell count was very high. We did not wait to switch off the computer or get some clothes together, we just rushed into hospital. We were taken to a mountain top and thrown over the edge! What a cruel joke! I had dreamt of the day, of walking Lesley-Ann down the aisle for many years, and now it looked like I wasn’t going to be there! This was the lowest point I have ever got to, in my life, when hope turns to despair. When you question the very existence of God. As our friend Anne-Marie said;”it is at these very low times, that you will find the ‘grace of God’; look out for it and remember to write it all down”
The first Angel we met at the hospital was Tanya King from our children’s mass group. Tanya is the Director of Nursing at the hospital and she was just about to go home after work when she met us. Tanya took care of us that evening. It is difficult to put into words the difference Tanya made by just being there for us that evening. She was a gift from God. My ‘Simon of Cyrene’. During the last few months, between April and today, there have been many from our family our friends and total strangers who have helped us bear this burden. Their love, support and prayers have brought us thus far and for this I thank God for all these ‘Angels from heaven’. Some playing the part of Simon of Cyrene and more playing the part of Veronica. The Kris Kristofferson song that comes to mind is; “Why me Lord, what have I ever done, to deserve such even one, of the graces that I’ve received…. Now that I know, I’ve needed you so, help me God ….. Try me Lord, if there is a way I can try to repay, all I’ve taken from you…….Maybe Lord, I can show someone else what I’ve been through myself, on my way back to you”
That’s all for now folks!