Day 35. It is a few days since I last updated my blog. I find that I am very tired these days. They gave me a booklet on ‘Coping with Fatigue’ at the hospital today. I am too tired to even start reading it. They say that fatigue is very common during cancer and its treatment. As the Queen song goes; ‘God knows, God knows, I want to break free….’ There is a really nice line in the movies, Chariots of Fire when Eric Liddell says ‘So where does the power come from to see the race to the end?, It comes from WITHIN’. I need to tap into this power, so help me God!
My consultant is very pleased with my progress. My regular checkups are now reduced to Tuesdays and Fridays. Probably next week, it might be only once a week, unless I get hit by the dreaded GvHd. My creatanine levels are still a bit on the high side, and it is difficult to keep drinking 3 litres of fluids every day. Any good suggestions? Lesley-Ann came up with a great suggestion to drink soup at lunch time. That is nearly 300ml in a bowl of soup. My corn flakes with milk is another 300ml, orange juice quickly makes up another 400ml and it all add up. I just need to keep drinking!
We had our family Christmas dinner last Saturday night. Lesley-Ann was home for the weekend. Pat cooked a complete Christmas Dinner, with the turkey and ham and I got to open my Christmas presents! We played our board game. Shereen & Pat won and I came last. Now everyone sees me as a liability to partner with on this particular game (Articulate). I am not used to this! It was lovely day. What was important was that it was Christmas for us as a family and the fact that it was not December 25 did not matter. As the song goes; ‘Christmas isn’t Christmas until it happens in your heart, somewhere deep inside you, is where Christmas really starts!’
Today at the hospital, I met with the two cleaners, Joan and Val from the Burkitt’s ward. I was able to introduce them to Pat. They are such lovely people, and I was delighted to meet them as they were delighted to see me. They were very pleased to see their names in my thank you letter. It is amazing what a simple thank you can mean to any one of us. We are often flippant when we say it is the ‘thought that counts’ little realising that this is what truly counts!
Did you see the movie Invictus? I read the book first, it was called ‘Playing the Enemy’. Excellent read! The movie was a bit of a let down. However, I liked a particular poem that they used in the film which I don’t recall from the book. I was searching for it on the web and found that the poem was called Invictus. I finally understood why the movie was called Invictus. Let me share this Invictus poem with you that was a great inspiration to Nelson Mandela when he spent 26 years in prison.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Children, You are the Master of your fate, you are the captain of your soul. I will leave you with one more quote from the movie, Chariots of Fire. Eric Liddell says; ‘I believe God made me for a purpose. He also made me fast and when I run I feel his pleasure’.
Yes we all have gifts, when you use them you will feel God’s pleasure.
That’s all for now folks!